She was the ocean, and he wanted to sail
by tainy4
Summary: Heartbroken, Killian Jones meets a woman that will change his life, perhaps forever.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: As I wrote this I imagined Holland Roden as Ariel, but you can imagine anyone. In this fic, Hook and Emma's relationship was a little different from on the show, and it ended differently, but you'll see that. Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

It was a stormy day, one of those days that Killian would either love or hate. But he was in no mood for an adventure. The waves hit his ship so hard that it was hard to believe that it didn't break, but it didn't. Other ships would've broken down a long time ago in that weather, but not _his_ ship. No that day, anyway. But to all the people who were on the ship that day, it seemed like the storm that was raging on it caused the storm that was raging in the mighty ocean that became the captain's only comfort after his heart got broken. The captain was a broken man in many ways. He was cruel, but not evil. When something caught his eye, he either loved it so much that he would give his healthy arm just to have that for a minute, or hated it so much that he would spend his life trying to destroy it, and there was nothing in between. And it couldn't change. From the first sight, he was either smitten or furious. But he never showed any of these feelings. He kept everything buried under concrete walls of bitterness and charm. The captain has been through everything a person could imagine and more. But it all seemed like a far memory from childhood, when it's all a big blur of moments and days and weeks and years and laughs and cries, once he lost the woman he had once genuinely and truly loved, only three months ago. And when he found his beloved ship, the only word that he said was "sail". Even when one of his sailors asked: "where?" he kept silent, because it didn't matter. He just wanted to be surrounded by his ocean, sitting in his cabin on his ship, sailing to the end of life, or the world, the end of anything really. He just wanted it to be over, he wanted his pain to be over. And as already said, he wasn't in mood for an adventure.

That's why he was furious when he heard the fuss from the deck. He knew his crew well enough to realize that it wasn't a regular fuss that would come up whenever there's a storm; it was something special. And it didn't like any of it. Suddenly his door opened loudly and widely, and a sailor, trying to catch his breath, mouthed a word that he couldn't finish. The captain was confused for a second, but then he decided that he has to see what's going on. He sighed, got up from his chair, set up his hook and went to the deck. The entire crew was standing as a group, leaning above something, trying to catch a glimpse of it. Once one of the crew members noticed that his captain was there, he coughed, and everyone split to two parts, leaving a path for the captain to walk in towards what looked like a fishnet with some kind of orange seaweed in it. The storm stopped at once, and a deadly silence prevailed, like the world stopped moving. The tension in the air got bigger and more noticeable with every step that Hook stepped towards the fishnet. With a quick movement of his hook he cut the net. It wasn't seaweed.

She looked at him with big, curious, golden eyes, like she wanted to ask for something or to say something, but she couldn't make a sound. And he looked at her with dark, lifeless, bitter eyes, with no expression, the same eyes he looked at his loved one with for the last time. But as he looked at her, something changed. It was like his heart started beating for the first time, and it felt so good. He couldn't take his look away, and he didn't want to. Eventually, when he realized that she was completely naked, he said: "A blanket,". It seemed like everyone was prepared for this demand, and someone immediately gave him a blanket. He grabbed it with his hand and leaned towards her.  
"I'm not looking," he said and tried to put the blanket on her bare skin with only one hand and closed eyes. He felt like he was touching something that he shouldn't have touched, and when he realized that it was her breast, he dropped the blanket. "Sorry," he said and opened his eyes. The blanket covered the important parts, so he couldn't see anything that he shouldn't have seen in this early hour of the day.  
"I am sorry for this terrible welcome to my ship, but I'd love to give you a little warmer one in my cabin- if you'd want that, of course." He whispered, his face so close to hers so he could smell her. She smelled like the ocean, like seashells and salt and all the things that he loved about the ocean, and another thing that he couldn't recognize, something that was familiar yet unknown. It took the girl a few seconds to respond, and she nodded.  
"Can you talk?" he whispered. She seemed confused.  
"Can you walk?" she still seemed confused, and scared.  
"Is that a 'no'?" she didn't respond.  
He stood up and grabbed her hand. She tried to stand up, but she stumbled. In a quick movement, Killian grabbed her with his hook, and held her in his arms for a few moments. He could feel her heart racing against his. Then she seemed like she was suffering. She looked at her thigh, and so did he. She was bleeding, just where his hook grabbed her.  
"I'm- I'm sorry," he said. "Can you take it out?"  
She didn't understand.  
"My hook. Can you take it out? You just- just pull it and it will come out." She was scared and confused, but most of all she felt the hook digging through her meat. "Don't be afraid. It won't hurt you anymore. I'd do it myself if I weren't, you know, holding you."  
She smiled through the pain, and with both her arms she pulled the hook out of her thigh and out of hook's arm. That's when he realized that the crew was still staring at them.  
"I'm sorry, get back to work." It was the first time he ever told them that he was sorry. Mostly he would just ask for stuff, or blame them for things, or joke with them. They were shocked, but he didn't notice.

He carried the girl to his cabin, and put her on his bed.  
"Rum?" he suggested as he opened the bottle. She shook her head. "More for me then,"  
He drank straight from the bottle, closed it, took a chair and sat in front of her. Then he cut his shirt's sleeve and dipped it in the rum. "It might help. I'm sorry, again. It might hurt a little, but then it will be better," he said, and pushed the small fabric against the wound in her thigh. It didn't seem to hurt her at all, or maybe she was suffering all along. Salty water isn't the best thing for wounds, and she was still wet.  
"So, you really can't talk?" he tried to distract her from her wound.  
It was a short silence, and then she opened her mouth, but before she could say anything he yelled: "I knew you can! Brilliant!"  
She laughed.  
"What's your name?" he asked.  
"Ariel," She said. Her voice was soft, quiet, and a bit hoarse, like she didn't talk for a long time.  
"Well, I'm Killian Jones. But you may know me as Captain Hook."  
"I've heard of you."  
"Bad things, I hope."  
"Yes, and I'm afraid that you don't live up to your standards, Captain." They both smiled.  
"I could still throw you back in the ocean,"  
"You won't."  
"I might,"  
"No, you won't."  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"Because you saved me, which means you like me, which means that you have a heart. You can't throw me back in the ocean, because you have too much of a heart to do that."  
"I didn't save you."  
"Don't be so modest. Your crew would've eaten me or killed me, if weren't for you."  
"To a girl as beautiful as you they would've done a lot worse…" he mumbled.  
"What?"  
"Nothing. So what's your story? What did you do naked in the middle of the ocean?"  
"Promise me that you won't freak out." Killian raised an eyebrow. "Just… promise."  
"Fine, I promise that I won't-"  
"I'm a mermaid."  
"You're a… mermaid."  
"I mean, I was. But then I made a deal with the Sea Witch so I can turn into a human, and unless I get my true love's kiss by midnight I will become a mermaid again, so I have to find the prince by midnight, and I don't want to become a mermaid again, please, don't let me become a mermaid!" she was talking so fast that he could barely follow. It took him a few seconds and a little more rum to respond.  
"So where do we find that… prince?"  
"He was on a shore of an island, with a castle on it, it was beautiful, captain! I believe that we can be there by noon if we start sailing to the north right now! Please, captain, help me!" as she said that, she touched his thigh without noticing. But he noticed. She held her hand there for a few moments, until he looked at it and she noticed. "I'm sor-"  
"That's fine, darling. I'll tell Smee to prepare the ship, and when the sun goes down, you will be with your prince."  
"Oh, thank you!" she jumped at him to hug him, and they both fell off his chair. They lied on the carpet for a few moments that seemed like an eternity to them. He looked at her red lips, her light golden eyes, and her wet red hair. She gazed into his dark eyes, only that now, she could see a spark in them, beyond all the bitterness and loneliness. Right when she smiled, he pushed her softly aside.  
"I'll- I'll go now." He said. "You can try to learn how to walk in the meanwhile."  
"I will. Thank you, Captain."  
"It's Killian." He said and walked out the door.

"I'm sorry about her," she said after a while.  
"About whom?" he asked.  
"I don't know. But you do. It's a woman, right?"  
He looked at his pocket. A clock was lying in there, the only thing that he had left from her. A gift from the other world, where she came from, where he wanted to be so badly for so long.  
"Yes. It's a woman."  
"How did you lose her?"

It was three months ago, when they found the magic bean. The entire time, she made him believe that she would take him with her. Maybe she believed it too. He loved her. He gave her his hand, but she didn't take it.  
"You can't come, Killian. I'm- I'm sorry. I know that you love me. I know that you want to come with me more than anything. But you can't come. I wish you could, I really do, Killian. But you're still a monster. And I was a fool to fall in love with a monster. But it has to end. If it was only me, you could come. But Killian, it's my family. My friends. Henry is there, Killian. I can't risk that. I'm sorry. "  
She kissed him, a soft, short kiss. A goodbye kiss.  
"Be good. Don't be a monster. Maybe then, you'll find a way. You'll find me. I know that. But if you don't, I want you to be happy. And I want you to be good. I'm going to get my family back. You should get yourself one, too."  
"Emma," her mother called.  
"Goodbye." She said.

"I wasn't good enough for her, so she left."

When they got to the shore, Ariel could walk alone. She wore a shirt from Killian's closet as a dress, and she walked barefoot because she wanted to feel the land beneath her feet at least once, in case she won't find her prince. Killian didn't let anyone go down to the shore with them. He thought many times about telling her about the curse while they were searching the prince, but he didn't want to let her down. He didn't want her to find out that her prince was probably taken by the curse to the land where his loved one was the hard way either, but he wasn't able to tell her. So until the skies became as dark as his eyes, they were looking for the prince. But as he expected, the island was empty. They looked everywhere, across the shore and in the castle; they climbed the highest trees in the forest to see if there was a living creature in the island, but for nothing. There was no one on the island. Ariel didn't lose hope until the moon showed up, bright and radiant above the island, and Killian didn't have much in first place.

As the night settled in, Killian decided to light a fire. It wasn't big, but it was enough to keep them warm. They knew that it was a matter of time until she will become a mermaid again, and both of them felt an ache in their heart. Killian, even though he knew that there was no hope in first place, was disappointed. Because he made a promise. In his heart, he promised to be good. But the girl that was sitting next to him was heartbroken, and in a few moments she will be the thing that she begged him not to let her turn to. A mermaid. He looked at her, and his pain was different. The other pain, his heartbreak, was gone. And along with the new pain, he had a calm yet exciting feeling that he could recognize well by now. He had this feeling two times before, and they were very different from this time. The first time, it was a woman who was not good enough. She was married and unhappy, and he took an advantage on that. He hated himself for that, almost as much as he hated the man who took her from him. The other time, it was a woman who was too good for him. And the person who took her from him was himself. He hated himself for that more than anyone in the world. This time, it was a woman who was just good in the right amount.

She had the innocence of a kid; he could see in her eyes that the world hasn't showed her it's worst side yet. But she was also understanding and smart, and most of all good. She was beautiful and seductive, with her big eyes and her red hair, just waiting to be looked at, to be touched. She was the ocean, and he wanted to sail. He took his watch out of his pocket. The hour was almost midnight. He looked at her, and she looked at him. She seemed sadder for him than for herself, even though when it will all be over, she will be the one with the fishtail, and he will carry on with his life. She also seemed hopeful, which they both found odd. She looked into his eyes. They weren't dark at all. They were bright; the spark in them took all the darkness away. She felt her heart racing, she was hot, but not because of the burning fire that he made.

"Do you still love her?"  
"No."  
"When did you stop loving her?"  
"I think that it was when I found a naked lady on my ship in the middle of a storm. She looked at me; her hair was red as the sun in twilight and her eyes blue like the sea. She smelled like the ocean, and I fell in love with her."  
And they kissed, just when the numbers on his clock turned to four zeros.  
"You fool," he said.  
"What?"  
"I once was told that you must be a fool to fall in love with a monster."  
"This saying might be true, but you're not a monster."  
"I am, dear. Always have been, always will be."  
"No. You're not a monster. You saved me twice, and you barely even know me."  
"And you barely know me, to think that I am not a monster."  
"You are right. But then, if you are a monster, I really am a fool."

But Killian Jones was no longer a monster. He was just in love with a woman who loved him back. And nothing could stop them from being together, forever.


End file.
